It is not unusual for a child to wake up on a Monday morning and complain about having to go to school. Most school-age children, when given the choice, will choose to have a day off from school. When this complaining becomes an intense, persistent, and frequent argument, we have a behavior that can be described as school refusal. School refusal is when a child refuses to go to school, is frequently unable to stay in school for the whole day, or goes to school and leaves or needs to be taken home. These complaints could be direct, through verbalizing not wanting to go to school, or indirect, such as physical complaints. The most frequent age we see this occur is between eight and thirteen years of age.  However, any school-age child could experience school refusal.

When a child refuses or resists going to school, one of the first tasks he need to examine is the reason why he/she may be resistant. We need to rule out confirmable physical illness and mental health issues (i.e. depression). If those do not appear to be a reason, we can look at other areas. This would include peer group (encouraging to ditch school), drug/alcohol involvement, grades, family changes or events, or worries/fears.

A child may resist or refuse to go to school because they are afraid. This fear could derive from several areas: fear of a person (bullying, for instance), fear of leaving someone (separation anxiety), fear of situations (being around other people), or fear of an event (speaking in front of class). Age, peer group, and history of the child are necessary information in determining motivation. Family history or events could also play a factor. If there is turmoil/conflict at home, this could impact a child’s emotional stability. If there is a family history of anxiety, your child is more likely to have anxiety themselves. Regardless of the reason, it is essential to remember that the longer you wait, the more likely a pattern of feelings. Physical and emotional behaviors will solidify, making it more difficult to intervene. Develop a plan of action with support systems available to assist your child in acclimating back to school. It is essential to involve school personnel in addressing school refusal concerns. They will be your biggest allies in overcoming this issue. If the school refusal persists, seeking professional help is important.

Strategies for School Refusal

Here are some suggestions that may prove helpful for you in addressing School Refusal. If the suggestions do not help, or the issue goes on for an extended period of time, we suggest calling a professional. Remember, the

longer it goes on, the more difficult it will be to address.

● Be consistent. If you are inconsistent, you will only reinforce the worry or behavior

● Be clear in your expectations. Let your child know he or she is expected to go to school.

● Avoid lecturing. Provide a sympathetic ear, but remain firm.

● Attempt to determine the reason your child is refusing school. This will help determine a course of action

● Prepare them for the day as best as you can. Offer a picture schedule to help them visualize the day.

● Coordinate with school officials. It is imperative that you are on the same page.

● Practice relaxation techniques with your child.

● Reward any progress you see. Reinforce good behavior.